Let’s take a few minutes and consider the preponderance of the Biblical evidence that homosexuality is indeed a sin.  Even though it is a sin there is no Biblical evidence that this sin has any different eternal consequences than any other sin.  This is not a salvific issue and it is not the most important issue for Christians to deal with.  It is however controversial in our culture. See my previous posts here:  Post 1 – Post 2 - Post 3 - Post 4 - Post 5.

Here is a summary of the evidence:

• Gen. 2

This passage teaches us about God’s design for marriage in a positive way.  Notice it isn’t about “love” as much as a covenant between a man and woman.  It is the context in which procreation is possible.  The family unit was designed by God with children in mind.  As a matter of fact Adam and Eve were commanded to be fruitful and multiply…to fill the earth.  Whether this has already been accomplished to the liking of God doesn’t matter, this is what the covenant of marriage was for.

• Lev. 18 & 20

Yes it is true that this is the Old Testament and we need to be careful as to what we apply and what we don’t apply from the Old Testament. It is also true that there are many things we do apply from the Old Testament.  If these two passages were the only passages relevant to the issue of homosexuality I too would simply suggest that this may be cultural and we should ignore it.  That is not the case.  We have all kinds of passages that teach about sexuality.  Sex outside of marriage is considered a sin in the ten commandments, with Abraham, 1 Cor. 7, any of the places the word fornication is used, and many others.  We also have the New Testament Passages that confirm this command and I would argue that Paul’s language in 1 Cor. 6:9 suggests that he was virtually quoting the Leviticus text out of the LXX (Septuagint).

• The teaching of Jesus in Mark 10
• And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. ⁶ But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ⁷ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, ⁸ and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. ⁹ What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

No, Jesus does not mention homosexuality here.  What he does mention is marriage and God’s intentions.  Nowhere in scripture do we see any hint of a positive case for homosexuality and we certainly do not see any hint of same sex marriage.  We do see a positive case for a man and woman getting married.

• Romans 1

This passage is very clear in regards to homosexual activity.

• 1 Cor. 6:9 & 1 Tim. 1:10

These two passages are very clear in spite of what many have suggested.  When we look into the original language we don’t see more ambiguity, we see more clarity.  See my last post for a more thorough examination of the language.

Conclusion

The case against homosexuality isn’t based on one passage, but several.  Perhaps one could argue away a couple passages, but there seems to be a consistant message throughout scripture.

• Marriage was designed with a man and a woman in mind.  Procreation isn’t just a benefit, it is part of the purpose of marriage
• Jesus words reaffirming the original intent for marriage
• Sex outside of marriage is a sin
• Homosexual practice includes sex outside of marriage and is therefore a sin
• The multiple texts dealing specifically with homosexuality all condemn the practice
• There is not one single passage in the Bible that promotes homosexuality in any way

There is a preponderance of evidence against the practice of homosexuality for a Christian perspective.

Not to long ago I had a long Facebook discussion about the issue of homosexuality.  That particular discussion was more political in nature and did not address (at least not in depth) what the Bible has to say on the issue.  An organization called Soulforce has, as one of its resources, an online article that addresses what the Bible says about this issue.  I might point out that according to their web site Soulforce does not claim to be a faith based organization.  Still, the arguments used are the typical arguments used by those in the homosexual community.  It is for that reason I will be addressing these arguments over the next several weeks.  Their article can be found here.  Well, here it goes.

There are a couple of things I noticed about the introduction to this article that were bothersome to me.  The author does not reveal who they are.  I looked for a by line at the beginning and the end of the article and did not see one.  Second, it was also bothersome to me that this person claims to have studied at a conservative seminary, but does not say which one.  The identity of this person and the identity of the seminary do not change the validity of the arguments presented, but I find it odd.

The author has 8 premises and the first one is this, “Most people have not carefully and prayerfully researched the biblical texts often used to condemn God’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender children.”

There is probably some truth to this statement.  Most people are not pastors and have not learned the skills necessary to study these things on a scholarly level.  Most people probably haven’t taken the time to read a book or look up all the passages in Scripture that deal with homosexuality.  The assumption in this statement is that if they had carefully studied this issue they would come to a pro-homosexual position.  Just because most people haven’t studied it, that doesn’t mean that all of those who believe the message of scripture speaks of homosexuality as a sin have not studied it.  As a matter of fact many who continue to speak against homosexuality have studied this issue very carefully.

The author spends time in the introduction talking about the importance of “rightly dividing the word of truth” and then under the first premise this person speaks about Biblical ignorance.  This person then lists three things about the Bible which they believe most Christians do not know.  Those things are:

• Jesus says nothing about same-sex behavior.  (true, but Jesus does talk about marriage)
• The Jewish prophets are silent about homosexuality. (again true)
• Only six or seven of the Bible’s one million verses refer to same-sex behavior in any way — and none of these verses refer to homosexual orientation as it’s understood today.  (This statement is not true)

This last statement is disturbing.  For a person who claims to have 50+ years of studying the Bible and claims ignorance on the part of others, it amazes me that they would think there are one million verses in the Bible.  There aren’t even one million words in the bible and there are approximately 30,000 verses in the Bible (Check this here).

I realize we have not yet started to deal with Scripture itself, but we will begin to do that next week as we deal with the next two premises the author presents.  They are:

“Historically, people’s misinterpretation of the Bible has left a trail of suffering, bloodshed, and death.”

and

“We must be open to new truth from Scripture.”

I’m on vacation.  It’s been great, really great.  Before I left Colorado (where I live) for Minnesota (my state of origin) I wasn’t sure if I would know how to vacation.  I have never been good at taking time off, but I have realized that I am better when I do.  As it turns out, it isn’t just pastors in the 21st century that have a hard time taking care of themselves, there were some Biblical characters as well.

Moses reached a point where the word suicidal may best describe his frame of mind.  Now Moses didn’t have a youth group or a large church on his shoulders, he had a nation.  While it may seem that, that kind of a burden is much greater than what we face, it is also true that God gave Moses some unique opportunities to commune directly with Him that the rest of us don’t have…at least I don’t.

For our purposes it doesn’t matter why Moses reached the end of his rope (so to speak).  What matters is this, he got there (Numbers 11:14-15).  God gave Moses gifts in ministry and Moses used these gifts and as he did the weight on his shoulders became unbearable.  It got so bad that Moses asked God to take his life.  I have never been that far down the burnout road, but I have wanted to quit my job and even leave the ministry all together at times.  A few times I have slipped into depression and acted in ways that had the potential to harm my marriage and my ministry.

What is the answer?  Some times it is getting a good team around you.  This was the answer for Moses (Numbers 11:16ff).  Sometimes the answer is some sort of vacation or sabbatical.  This was often the answer for Jesus.  When he got tired and worn out he would often go off and be by himself with the Father, spend time in prayer, and fast.  For some there needs to be accountability for rest.  People who are successful are often driven and don’t need to be reminded to work, but they do need to be reminded to rest.

Whatever the answer is for you, you must find it and embrace it.  Find people to hold you accountable to the answer.  If you don’t, in the end you will do harm to yourself and your ministry.

Yes, I have been married and in ministry for 18 years.  Most people think my wife and I are too young to have married that long and I guess they are right…sort of.  We married each other young; I was 19 and she was barely 20.  No, I don’t think we got married too young, but that is probably another post for another time.

In celebration of our 18 years of marriage my wife and I went to Red Lobster tonight for supper.  Our waitress asked us a question we hear a lot, she asked us “what is your secret to staying married?”  As we ate dinner we discussed the last 18 years, the ups the downs, the attitudes, the changes, and the general eb and flow of married life.  Why were we able to stay married when so many others haven’t?  Why after all this time can I look at my wife and say I love her more today than ever?  This is what has worked for us:

• A common mission.

Since before we started dating we were doing ministry together.  We have had a common mission from the very beginning.  For us it was ministry which turned into professional ministry.  It didn’t have to be professional ministry though, as long as we were both seeking to serve Jesus in every area of our life it would have worked.

• Commitment

Both of us had learned from our parents all kinds of lessons about marriage.  What we wanted it to be and what we didn’t want it to be.  Entering our marriage we knew there would be difficulties and we knew that it would take hard work to make it last, but we were both committed to each other and to doing marriage the way God designed it.  We haven’t been perfect in that, but we stay committed to this day.

• A deep respect for the other person

Early in our marriage I went through a period of time when I felt like I could not meet my wife’s standards.  Because of that I put some relational boundaries on my wife that hurt her.  I was insecure about my failures real and perceived.  I wanted to keep her from sharing difficulties we were having with others because I was scared about what other people thought.  Christa told me how these things were affecting her.  Once I realized what it was doing to her I also realized what it would eventually do to our marriage.  I adjusted my expectations of her and she adjusted her expectations of me.  Over the years there have been times when both of us have shown our weaknesses and both of us have helped the other see those and adjust.  As it has turned out usually where one of us is weak the other person can help.  Because of our deep respect for each other we have been able to submit to each other in this way.  I will admit this respect was certainly more fragile early on, but as time went on our respect and trust continued to grow.

• Grace

Though there have been times when I thought I was the only one in the marriage who needed grace, the truth is we have both needed plenty of it and we have both given plenty of it.

• Conviction that marriage is for life

This seems obvious, and everyone seems to have this conviction before marriage starts.  This conviction along with a realistic view of marriage is pretty powerful.

To be honest, there are many more principles, tips, and tricks I could share, but this post is too long already.  Marriage is simple, in so many ways.  If a couple were to take Ephesians 5:22ff and apply those principals alone they would have a successful marriage.  What makes marriage hard and complicated are the personalities involved.  The work involved in marriage is mostly in regards to figuring out how to apply Biblical principles to your spouse.

P.S. this post has been approved by my wife.

The story I’m about to tell is actually many stories.  Though I will tell it is one story, there have been many like this over the years.  It started out with some parents coming to me to ask for help.  Their student (15) had become disrespectful and defiant.  The parents had done everything they knew how to do and they were stuck, concerned, and at the end of their rope.

Over the years I have sat down with many students and had many conversations after a similar conversation with parents. Though the behavior is often a particular issue (drugs, partying, defiance, etc…) it seems to me the source of the problem is generally (not always) found in one of a couple places. First, it often starts when the kids are young. Perhaps you have heard the saying, “everything I need to know I learned in Kindergarten.” While this is grossly overstated there is a certain sense in which it is true. Many of the patterns in life are determined very early. Those who allow their young children to manipulate and control them by throwing tantrums and being defiant can expect that pattern to continue as the child grows older. Many parents are short sighted in this regard. Instead of teaching their children the proper way to deal with disappointment they simply try to manage the tantrums and defiance. In other words they try to keep it in the realm of what they can put up with. The idea is that these children will outgrow these behaviors. In some ways they are correct. As children develop mentally they acquire new tools of manipulation, more effective ones. In reality it is more of a trade in than anything. Proverbs 23:13-14 warns parents not to withhold discipline from our children. This isn’t only true when they are young, it is true as they grow older and become teenagers. The method of discipline may change, but the principle remains until they leave their parents for full blown adulthood. The more we as parents discipline when our children are young, the less we will have to do it when they grow older.

The second source is culture. The American culture is nor friendly to parenting. Whether it is the entertainment on TV, the education system promoting silly ideas, or the music being pumped into our student heads, it is very often filled with messages that promote the intelligence of kids and the idiocy of adults. I probably haven’t heard it all, but I have heard so many students communicate in some way that they somehow know so much more than adults. I hear things like, “I googled it and…” “my teacher told me…” “I saw ______ on TV and they said….” Honestly it is out of hand and it is our fault. As parents we need to speak prophetically in order to help them filter out what is good and trustworthy and what is not. This starts at a young age and continues into early adulthood. Our students are not being taught a Biblical worldview in their schools, they are not being taught American exceptionalism, and they are not being taught Biblical principles. It is a never ending job to guard ourselves and then our students from these ideological missteps.

For much of my youth ministry career I have tried to be careful regarding the advice that I would give parents about parenting. There are two reasons I am more willing to give advice in this area now than I used to be. The first is experience. I have a daughter headed into junior high, and though she has not yet successfully navigated the teenage years, I more fully understand parenting. Not that I have it all figured out, I don’t and that is why humility is always a key ingredient when dishing out advice of any kind. The second reason is youth ministry itself. That is to say I have been working with teenagers for 18 years. I would say that experience legitimizes any insight I may have into the minds, hearts, and behaviors of teenagers. I think it would be fair to say that I have achieved a certain level of expertise not on parenting necessarily, but on teenagers themselves.

If you are a youth pastor with some experience, you should not be shy about giving general advice on the mind, heart, and behavior of teenagers, but you should be humble and recognize your limits.

If you are a parent, don’t fall into the trap of thinking students know how they should be parented.  Likewise don’t fall into the trap of listening to culture.  God’s word (start with Proverbs) gives all kinds of great advice.

We must teach kids and teens about marriage.  No, I’m not from some back hills county where it is okay to marry 14 year olds (or younger).  That said, there is this casual approach to relationships as if they are not a big deal.  Not that long ago I had a conversation with a 4th or 5th grader that brought this to light.

Let me set the backdrop.  This was a Sunday morning at The Rock, there wasn’t really anything different about this particular Sunday.  I was wondering around during one of the services.  We do not have Sunday morning programing for our Senior High Students, but I like to hang out between services and talk to them so during the services I often don’t have much to do.  On this Sunday I had engaged in another conversation with this student just a few minutes earlier.  I ran into him again when he was with his class who was on their way to another room and I heard the teacher say, “Fred (not his real name) don’t you be sneaking off with Susie (not her real name) to get some kissy face.”  I stopped cold in my tracks.  I looked at Fred and said, “is she your girlfriend?”  Fred, “yes.”  Me, “oh, do you think you are going to marry her?”  Fred with a lot of attitude, “NO.”  Me, “Why are you dating her if you know you’re not going to marry her?”  Fred with more attitude, “YOU’RE WEIRD!!”

I desperately hope that conversation bothers you as much as it bothers me.  I realize there are some people who think kids dating is cute, but I know the mom who got called to school because her 8th grade daughter was caught having sex literally in a closet, the conversations I have over and over again with teens who are having sex with their boy/girlfriend because they have not been taught at an early age what the dangers are (I’m not talking about std’s and pregnancy), the multiple conversations I have had with guys who’s girlfriends got pregnant and then had abortions, or the junior high students who start dating and even the leaders think that couple will be the exception and they will not have sex and remain pure for the next 8 years and then they will get married.  Dating at any age isn’t “cute”  it is a serious activity for a serious purpose.  There are couples who are cute, but dating itself is not cute.

The problem is actually pretty simple to identify, the problem is that dating has become the goal not marriage.  This reminds me of another conversation I had with my daughter.  I was at a school function with her class and she came up to me and asked me this questions, “Daddy, can I start dating when I am 15?”  My answer started simple and quick, “no, why do you ask?”  My daughter, “my friend gets to start dating when she is 15 so I wanted to know if I could.”  Now that I had a moment to think about the question she asked me I responded with some thoughtful questions of my own.  “Catrina (my daughter) when do you think you will get married?”  her, “I don’t know.”  Me, “well do you think it will be when you are 16, 18, 23, 25?”  Her, “Daddy, you said I couldn’t get married until I was 30.”  Me, “you can get married earlier than that, but let’s say you end up getting married early like your mom and dad did, lets say you were going to get married at 20.”  Her, “ok.”  Me, “how long do you think it will take you to find a husband?”  Her, “…oooooh.”

In that moment she realized what the purpose of dating was and I developed my entire strategy for how we will approach this issue as she gets older.  I know she is going to want to date earlier, and I know I might grow tired of fighting with her about it, but I also know that you can’t hit the target if you don’t keep your eye on it.

Put simply I teach my students about marriage not dating, I teach them what kind of decisions they should be making now in order to have a good marriage later.  I teach them about the goal and then work backwards so they can clearly see how the right process leads to the goal.

Teach This

When kids are young it’s easy to have family devotions.  Read a Bible story and pray before the kids go to sleep.  In my family we have been doing this for years with a variety of Bible story books that can be purchased at any Christian Book Story or online.  My daughter is getting older (12), but she still participates in family devotions.  We intend to keep this practice going on a nightly basis for as long as we can.  In reality there is going to come a time as my kids become teenagers that their schedule will make this more difficult.  In addition the kind of material we use now will become juvenile for the maturity level of my daughter, but I have a plan!!

Maybe you are already in this situation and haven’t really thought this through.  Take my plan and alter it to fit your family.

• First, don’t give up on family devotions.  As schedules for my kids become more and more difficult we may have family devotions fewer times a week, but it will always be something we do even if it is only once a week.
• Second, if you have older kids and younger kids have the older ones lead devotions.  We have begun this already.  My daughter Catrina will on occasion read the Bible story and we always pray.  As time goes on we will ask Catrina to do more, maybe even prepare something where she reads a scripture ahead of time, studies it, and then shares the devotional with the family.
• Third, if you don’t know what to read, read whatever passage is used for the sermon each week.
• Fourth, pray.  One of the things we do is pray for people we ran into or encountered that day.  This was the brainchild of my wife.  This teaches students to have a lifestyle of prayer and it teaches them to pray out loud.
• Fifth, keep track of what you pray for.  We don’t always do this very well at my house, but it is something I would like to do more of.  Maybe a big white board we keep somewhere in the house where company can’t see it.  When prayers are answered celebrate together as a family.

Family devotions are sooo important.  If you keep it up your students will not only see how important it is to you and how seriously you take your faith, but they will begin to take their faith seriously as well.  I realize you might have to fight them a little, but make it mandatory except for very special circumstances.  You and your family will benefit.

You may think your daughter won’t get one or o your son would not encourage their girlfriend to get an abortion, but it might be a good Idea to talk to them about it.  In every abortion there is one dead and one wounded.  Unfortunately those wounds are not simply physical.  Teens who have abortions are more likely to attempt suicide, struggle with depression, risk difficult pregnancies in the future, suffer from post dramatic stress disorder and so on (for more info click this).

It’s time we take this issue on with clarity, grace, and intentionality.  Take time to talk about this issue in your family and in your ministry.

Because the amount of heckling I receive I thought I would do a little pros and cons list regarding the celebration of Halloween.  Here it goes:

Cons

• I’m not sure what exactly we are celebrating.  Some say it is the occult, Satan, or some other kind of evil.  I know most people aren’t intentionally celebrating any of those things, but the origin of Halloween is never (to my knowledge) attributed to something good.
• People dress up as someone they are not
• It glorifies death, torture, and evil
• knocking on other people’s doors to get candy seems kind of weird
• Candy produces cavities (at least that is what my mom told me)
• Telling your kids they can’t have all the candy they just collected because they will get sick seems cruel when you just helped them get it
• Pumpkin Pie isn’t really that good and I can have apple pie or banana cream pie any time of the year

Pros

• It is a good opportunity to talk to people about spiritual things, Life and death, and other important topics
• It is a good time to get to know some of your neighbors

Those are the only two positives I can think of, but they are significant enough for me to participate in Halloween on some level.  I will do what I can to take advantage of this holiday for the sake of the kingdom of God, but I still hate Halloween.

This is part two: