Recently Rick Lawrence of Group Magazine published the results of a survey of 20,000 plus teens answering the following questions:

• What would you like to do More of in your church’s youth ministry? (these results were published in the latest print version of Group)
• What is your biggest challenge in growing deeper in your relationship with God?
• What is your biggest regret in your relationship with God?
• What is your biggest hope in your relationship with God?
• If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I found the published results to the first question to be mostly bothersome and frustrating.  It seemed to me that there was too much emphasis on games and activities, hang out time, and other similar types of things.  What was encouraging was what came in at #1 even if only by a little bit…Learning about Jesus.  This isn’t the story though.  The story, in my opinion, is what is found in the rest of the survey published online here.

As a dad for the last 13 years I have slowly learned that what my child wants is much different than what that child needs.  Is it really surprising that students want to have more fun?  No, of course not.  What is surprising is the number of parents, youth pastors, and leaders that listen to this and go no further.  Teenagers are adolescent minds that have not fully developed.  This does not discredit their answers; it just means that those of us with fully developed minds (some more than others) should take this into consideration when reading these results.  Example:

• The #1 answer regarding what they want more of may be learning about Jesus, but Help in understanding the Bible (our primary source regarding Jesus) doesn’t show up until #12 followed by learning about the New Testament, sermons that focus on the Bible doesn’t show up until #36, a Bible study that focuses on a book of the Bible doesn’t show up until #38.

America has been blessed and teens in America have seen the blessing but not the cost.  Because of this and other cultural factors they often see what they want, but don’t realize what is required.  This survey brings this perception to the forefront.

The most significant question asked was “What’s the biggest challenge in growing deeper in your relationship with God?”  The answers were no surprise.  The top 3 answers can be boiled down to two:  schedule and parents.  Even busyness is a parent issue.  Parents model the importance of spiritual things by how they manage their time and it is the parents role to help students learn to manage their time.

There are many other significant observations that could be made.  I think this survey is important and should be read and gone over by every youth ministry professional that can get their hands on it, but I want to end by bringing things full circle.

Students may want to learn about Jesus, but don’t want to study the Bible, they want to go to church because it is fun or because their friends are there, but they don’t want to listen to good teaching.  Some may want to be more spiritual but aren’t willing to participate in spiritual disciplines.  The job of the Youth Pastor is to help students fall more in love with God.  That doesn’t mean we don’t do the fun stuff they want, but it does mean we often do things they need,  but don’t necessarily want.

So what?  Well, that is up to you as a parent, youth pastor, or youth leader.   As we think about our philosophy of ministry we could ask these kinds of questions:

• Am I giving students enough of what they need?
• Am I helping students understand what is required in order to get what they want?
• How do we give students enough of what they want (keeping it attractive) and at the same time make sure they are getting what they need?
• What is it that students need?  What is the most effective way to give that to them?

Drugs have become such a prevalent part of our society that we talk with our kids about them at a young age.  There are books all over the place about how to deal with dating and sex with children and teens, but what about homosexuality?

Elephants grow.  I know, it is obvious but sometimes I think we ignore a lot of issues and hope they won’t impact our lives or our students life.  Homosexuality was a fringe issue that, for the most part, could be ignored a decade or two ago.  Today it is a major issue in our schools connected to bullying, “safe zones,”  and teaching on tolerance.  It was a baby elephant not that long ago, but elephants grow and this is now a large animal that must be dealt with in our ministries and in our families.

The “tolerance” indoctrination started with my daughter when she was in kindergarten.  She was told everyone’s opinion is of equal value.  The homosexual indoctrination started when she was in second grade when she was told to do a family tree.  Part of the curriculum was that all family situations are of equal value:  two mommies are the same as two daddies or a mom and dad.

Pastors and leaders we need to talk about the elephant in the room in our ministries.  It isn’t going to go away and our students will fall for the deception because the deception started when they were very young.

Parents, grandparents, uncles, and aunts, we must talk with our children when they are young, we must pay attention, we must teach them both Biblical arguments and non-Biblical arguments.  We must both immunize them from the false arguments they will receive in school and equip them to make good arguments so they can impact culture.

How do we do it?  As a parent I am always asking my daughter if they are talking about certain topics.  I may say, “Catrina, are you guys talking about homosexuality in school?”  It may sound weird, but I don’t care it’s my job as a dad.  As a youth pastor I teach on passages like Romans 1, Lev. 22, 1 Cor. 6:9-10, etc…  I bring it up with compassion and love, but I do not shy away from truth because “love rejoices in truth” (1 Cor. 13).

The elephant is growing, it’s time to deal with it!

I heard a pastor of a large church say the following, “I’m going to give you the cliff notes version of the Bible:

• Love God
• Love One Another
• Love Your Neighbor as Yourself”

This might sound pretty good to the average congregant, but it presents some serious problems.  Let’s examine these three statements one by one and see what we’re left with.

Love God

We are to love God, there is no doubt.   Isn’t that the very thing we have failed to do since Adam and Eve in the Garden?  1 John 5:3 seems to make it clear that if we love God we will keep his commandments.  It seems the Bible is filled with man’s failure to do exactly that.  Israel never heard of a command they didn’t want to break.  What’s ironic is that the Bible didn’t give them enough rules to break so they made up there own so they could break those too.  This isn’t true only in the Old Testament, it is true in the New as well.   Peter denied Christ, Judas, Paul persecuted the church, the seven churches in Revelation 1-3, etc…all of them have failed at loving God.  This is true in our own experience as well.  If we take an honest picture or our own lives we will see our own failures to love God.  This failure does not mean we should not continue to run the race, press on, or pursue perfection.  It does mean that we are in a lot of trouble because we have failed at what Moses and Jesus said was the most important commandment in all of Scripture…Love God.

Love one Another

Again Scripture is filled with failures to do this very thing.  Cain and Able, Joseph and his brothers, Hosea and Gomer, the Pharisees,  Paul, etc…  Again if we look at ourselves honestly we will find many moments when we have failed to love one another.

Love Your Neighbor

According to Moses and Jesus this is the second greatest commandment.  It is so similar to the previous statement that it doesn’t warrant any further explanation of how mankind and each of us individually have failed to live up to this command.

These three statements are good in and of themselves.  We should seek to obey them with all of our fiber, with every ounce or our energy, but they do not sum up the message of the Bible.  If they did sum up the message of the Bible we are left as failures before a just and holy God.

All three of these statements represent the law given to us.  We are to obey the law but the Bible and our experience clearly reminds us that because of sin we will fail to be obedient to the law and that is where the gospel and Jesus come into the picture.  The Bible can be summed up in three verses and they are these:

• Romans 3:23 All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God
• 1 John 4:10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
• 1 Corinthians 15:22 For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive.

What does it mean to love something?  If you looked up the definition of this word you would find many different meanings.  Furthermore, this word can be a noun or a verb.  Primarily this word is used to describe a strong affection or devotion to a thing or person.  However, in our culture we use this word very loosely.  We say things like “I loved that movie” or “I just love eating ice cream” or “I love my car.”   Now, while it is not technically wrong to say those things, I would ask the person “Do you really LOVE those things or just like them?”  Do you really have a STRONG affection and devotion to these superficial items or do just prefer them over other things?

But what about God’s word?  Should we say we, and are we called to, love God’s word?

In this post I look to address 3 main items:

1)      Are we called to love God’s word?

2)      What does it mean to love God’s word?

3)      Does loving something mean you also have like it?

1) Are we called to love God’s word?

I believe we are called to love God’s word.  The Bible explicitly provides us examples of this in Psalm 119: 47,  119:97, and 119:127.

“For I find my delight in your commandments, which I love.”

“Oh how I love God’s Word. It is my meditation all the day.”

“I love God’s commandments more than gold, yes, than fine gold!”

It also implies it in Proverbs  4:20-22

“I will not let God’s words depart from my eyes; I will keep them in the midst of my heart. They are life to me and health to all my flesh.”

Furthermore, in the Gospel of Luke Jesus tell us to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind.”  To love God with your mind you must know, understand, appreciate and love his word.   Loving God with your mind infers an intellectual appreciation for God which comes through reading his word.  To love God with your heart and soul can refer to experience, feelings, and emotions, but the mind is an intellectual calling.

So I ask, Do you love God’s word?  Do you cherish it more that gold?  Do you delight in it? Is it the source of your joy, life, and health?

I have struggled for a long time regarding these questions.  In fact, one of my biggest struggles is  do I love God’s word for what it says and produces in me? Or do I just love to read it, study it, and debate it for the sake of having more knowledge?

#2 What does it mean to love God’s Word?

To love God’s Word is to recognize it, cherish and obey it as your primary source in life.  Jesus said in Mathew 4:4, “Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

Without the word of God we cannot function as individuals, countries or a world.  This world has a million problems but can you imagine the total chaos we would have if we didn’t have the Bible to turn to for the answers to all of life’s questions?   Can you imagine how lost we would be if we didn’t know how to praise, worship and glorify God?   To love the word is to look to it and obey it for the truth it proclaims and the results it produces.   A person who loves God’s word doesn’t just cherish the theology but also marvels at the changes it produces in the individual, society and world.   A person who loves God’s word doesn’t just like it because the protagonist wins (Jesus defeats Satan), but is humbled by how each verse points to the glory of God, not the glory of man.

A person who loves God’s word literally cannot function without it.   But does that mean I have to like it?

#3Does loving God’s Word mean I also have like everything it says?

I cannot find a verse that says we must like God’s word.  Let me give you a natural and a Biblical example of where I am going with this argument.

Natural- Do you love your spouse, children, or parents?  Most would say yes.  I love them and would lay down my life for them, but does that mean you like everything they do.  For instance, I do not like it when my daughter looks right at me and says “NO” and runs away after I tell her to pick up her toys.  However, my love and dedication doesn’t change.

Biblical example – Did Jesus like going to the cross?  Of course not!  This isn’t something he was looking forward to.  We know that he didn’t like it because he agonized and pled with the Father to have this cup pass from him.  But Jesus loved the Father and his church more so he willingly laid down his life.

The reason I bring this question up is because so much of what keeps people from Jesus, or predicates bad theology, or takes churches and denominations down a path of destruction is people who don’t like what the Bible says so they change it to fit what they want.    They find the Bible offensive to their desires and ideas of how God should function and how this world should operate.  So they change what it says it to fit their liking.

There are a lot of difficult truths in the Bible that cause much strain in the church and society. Here are a few examples:

1)      God’s absolute sovereign choice in election

2)      Hell (lasting forever with no second chance)

3)      Sin of homosexuality

4)      Men as the spiritual head of the household

5)      Predestination

The question is not do you like these truths (it’s ok not to like Hell).  The question is, do you love these truths for what they stand for and what they produce in this world?  If your answer is no, then you must ask yourself do you love God?

We must teach kids and teens about marriage.  No, I’m not from some back hills county where it is okay to marry 14 year olds (or younger).  That said, there is this casual approach to relationships as if they are not a big deal.  Not that long ago I had a conversation with a 4th or 5th grader that brought this to light.

Let me set the backdrop.  This was a Sunday morning at The Rock, there wasn’t really anything different about this particular Sunday.  I was wondering around during one of the services.  We do not have Sunday morning programing for our Senior High Students, but I like to hang out between services and talk to them so during the services I often don’t have much to do.  On this Sunday I had engaged in another conversation with this student just a few minutes earlier.  I ran into him again when he was with his class who was on their way to another room and I heard the teacher say, “Fred (not his real name) don’t you be sneaking off with Susie (not her real name) to get some kissy face.”  I stopped cold in my tracks.  I looked at Fred and said, “is she your girlfriend?”  Fred, “yes.”  Me, “oh, do you think you are going to marry her?”  Fred with a lot of attitude, “NO.”  Me, “Why are you dating her if you know you’re not going to marry her?”  Fred with more attitude, “YOU’RE WEIRD!!”

I desperately hope that conversation bothers you as much as it bothers me.  I realize there are some people who think kids dating is cute, but I know the mom who got called to school because her 8th grade daughter was caught having sex literally in a closet, the conversations I have over and over again with teens who are having sex with their boy/girlfriend because they have not been taught at an early age what the dangers are (I’m not talking about std’s and pregnancy), the multiple conversations I have had with guys who’s girlfriends got pregnant and then had abortions, or the junior high students who start dating and even the leaders think that couple will be the exception and they will not have sex and remain pure for the next 8 years and then they will get married.  Dating at any age isn’t “cute”  it is a serious activity for a serious purpose.  There are couples who are cute, but dating itself is not cute.

The problem is actually pretty simple to identify, the problem is that dating has become the goal not marriage.  This reminds me of another conversation I had with my daughter.  I was at a school function with her class and she came up to me and asked me this questions, “Daddy, can I start dating when I am 15?”  My answer started simple and quick, “no, why do you ask?”  My daughter, “my friend gets to start dating when she is 15 so I wanted to know if I could.”  Now that I had a moment to think about the question she asked me I responded with some thoughtful questions of my own.  “Catrina (my daughter) when do you think you will get married?”  her, “I don’t know.”  Me, “well do you think it will be when you are 16, 18, 23, 25?”  Her, “Daddy, you said I couldn’t get married until I was 30.”  Me, “you can get married earlier than that, but let’s say you end up getting married early like your mom and dad did, lets say you were going to get married at 20.”  Her, “ok.”  Me, “how long do you think it will take you to find a husband?”  Her, “…oooooh.”

In that moment she realized what the purpose of dating was and I developed my entire strategy for how we will approach this issue as she gets older.  I know she is going to want to date earlier, and I know I might grow tired of fighting with her about it, but I also know that you can’t hit the target if you don’t keep your eye on it.

Put simply I teach my students about marriage not dating, I teach them what kind of decisions they should be making now in order to have a good marriage later.  I teach them about the goal and then work backwards so they can clearly see how the right process leads to the goal.

This probably isn’t what you think…I know it has been in vogue to attack the church from within, calling it judgmental, irrelevant, and out of touch. I’m not going to do that. Actually I am tired of being labeled “judgmental” and I believe it is largely unwarranted. So this post will be a short defense of the church in general. Before I get to the defense part, let me provide a disclaimer of sorts. This is not a defense of every church everywhere. There are church’s that are legalistic, judgmental, and at times even cruel. This post will be based on my observations within the church and my observations about the all too common “judgmental” attacks leveled against the church.

Many years ago I had a student leader decide to take his small group drinking. What followed was difficult decisions, confrontations, and church discipline. He did not get kicked out of the church, the youth group, or publicly humiliated; at least not by us. What did happen was this, his parents were notified by me because he refused to tell them. The rest of the students involved all told their parents on their own. He was removed from the leadership team…that’s it. We didn’t announce what happened, choose to disassociate ourselves, or hit him over the head with a Bible. I did spend some time in tears because I was disappointed and I very much loved this student. What followed was interesting from a human behavior standpoint.

Over the next weeks and months he dropped out of youth group and began to go down a bad road. When I talked to him about what was going on I was told the church was…wait for it…judgmental. He said that when he walked into church he felt judged because everyone knew about him and were talking about him behind his back. Though I believe that those things are possible, I do not believe they were true in this case, at least not by those who were in leadership. I loved him and so did the friends who “told” on him. We wanted nothing more than for him to be reconciled and kept in the body of believers where we could help him mature as a person mentally and spiritually. I heard his excuses about being looked at differently and judged several times. This isn’t the only story like this that I could talk about, there are probably dozens over my nearly 20 years of ministry. The all have a few things in common:

First, they all have someone who has practiced or is continuing to practice something that the church sees as morally wrong. For many this is the rub. They want to continue in this behavior without consequence from the church. I guess you might say this is the standard definition of judgmentalism. If it is judgmental for the church to take stands on moral issues, then I guess the church is judgmental. I might point out that the accusation of judgmentalism is itself an accusation of wrong doing. So by this definition anyone who levels that accusation is guilty of being judgmental. This reminds me of a scripture regarding two different sizes of wood and an eye (Mt. 7:1-6).

Second, it seems to be the fear of judgmentalism not an actual act of jugmentalism that is the problem. What I mean is this: If I have done a good job of communicating the expectations and rules of my house to my children and they break those rules or do not meet those expectations they fear me (daddy). They will avoid me and try to stay out of my way, not because I have “judged” them, but because they fear my judgment.

Over and over again I see a fear of being judged more than I see people being judgmental. A man cheats on his wife and stops going to church because he doesn’t want to face the music, a girl gets pregnant out of wedlock and doesn’t want to go to church because people will “judge” her, or a student consistently does drugs and stops attending youth group because they know they are not living up to the standards the church teaches. This is not the church being judgmental, it is the church taking certain moral stands and people feeling guilty. It is the conviction of the Holy Spirit or our own moral compass telling us we have done something wrong. I guess there is the option of not taking any moral stand at all (which of course is itself a moral stand of sorts). We could not condemn any action at all, but what message would that send? I can hear the critics now, “Where is the church? Why doesn’t the church take a stand against terrorism, adultery, price gougers, oppressors, etc…”

Third, the churches I have been a part of have always communicated the need all of us have for Grace, Mercy, and the righteousness imputed to us through the person of Christ. In other words there is this judgment that will come from God, this wrath leveled against both the sin and the sinner that we can only escape by the blood of Jesus. The gospel is the story we all hate when we want to continue in our sin because it is not a license for evil but a call to repentance. Salvation is free, but sanctification requires facing our sins, working to worship God through our actions, and continued synergism with God (HS) as we progress towards a Holy life.

Last, the churches response toward sin is reconciliation not permission. It appears that those who sin don’t want reconciliation, but permission to continue in sin. We have been given the ministry of reconciliation not appeasement. In other words those who level the accusation of judgmentalism against the church are not being intellectually honest in most cases. They are mad because the church will not support them in their sin. It is good and right for the church to take moral stands as all the prophets in the scriptures did and as Jesus himself did. It is not right for the church to disregard a person who is reconciling with God, facing their sin, and repenting. That would be judgmentalism.

I know this accusation will be leveled against the church from now until Jesus comes again. I know it will come from those inside the church almost as often as it comes from people outside the church. I know there are churches who are judgmental, and I know there are probably people in virtually every church who are judgmental. Still, I will no longer allow this challenge to go unanswered as if it is true in all churches or even most churches. I will (as I did last week) challenge those who make this claim. I will ask them how we have been judgmental. I will ask them questions about taking moral stands and how we can do that without coming across in a judgmental way. I will love those who feel this way, walk with them toward reconciliation, help them to repent, extend God’s grace and mercy through my hands, feet, and words, but I will no longer validate accusations of judgmentalism where they are not warranted.

These are the top resources I use.  They may not be your typical resources, but if I had to give up everything except for five, these are the ones I would keep:

1. Logos Bible Study software
2. ESV Study Bible
3. A good systematic theology.  I have several, but I would probably recommend Doctrine by Mark Driscoll for a shorter one, Systematic Theology by Erickson or Grudem, Michael Horton’s The Christian Faith, or for a more comprehensive set go with Dr. Norman Geisler.
4. For games and general fun, the best resource I have found is Youth Leader Stash
5. Probably the most under utilized and one of the most valuable is my staff!!

The answer I believe is found in Ephesians chapter 2 vrs 1-3. In these verses Paul writes.

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins ²in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— ³among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind

Essentially Paul is saying the answer to our questions is that sinners can’t do anything but sin.  Sinners are by nature children of wrath and followers of the prince of the air.  Their mind, body, and desires go completely against the will of God.  Sinners can do nothing else but sin.  Now you may say “of course this is obvious” but my desire is not so much to point out the obvious but to make sense of a senseless world.   I think most of us at times wonder why is this world so messed up?  Why are people so angry, depressed, selfish and greedy?  Why do people care more about the car they drive than about people who are starving?  The problem with us thinking like this is that fact that we are asking the wrong questions.

The correct questions are “why don’t I act like this?”  “Why isn’t my life full of rage, hate, envy, sexual sin, and love of money?”  “What is different about me?”  The answer is found in the next two verses of Ephesians

But God, being⁽ rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, ⁵even⁽ when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—

The answer is there is nothing different or inherently better about you.  BUT God being rich in mercy poured irresistible grace into your life and saved you.  God didn’t just save you from you past, present and future sins.  He saved you from depraved mind, and will. God has changed your desires and gave you a heart of flesh.  This new heart wages war on your sinful nature causing you to move in a Godward direction.

Therefore next time you encounter a sinner who just sinned against you understand two truths:

1)      That person can do nothing else but sin, so do not act surprised by their actions.

2)      Without God pouring his grace into your life you would be acting the exact same way.

BY GRACE YOU HAVE BEEN SAVED.

First, in general Crusade did a great job.  I realize that I am about to go on a rant with what might seem like complaints about Crusade, but in reality all the complaints I have could be blamed on several things including the local church, senior pastors (not mine), youth pastors (including me in the past), Crusade and other organizations like it (though they have filled a gap that needed to be filled), and probably some others.

First, let me start with what I loved.  Scott Nickell, the main speaker, was outstanding.  Crusade did a great job of bringing in talented people who would communicate clearly both in worship and in teaching.  The schedule was good, but probably some what different for us than for those who were actually involved in Cru.  Lee Watkins did an outstanding job as the MC…I learned some good things from him on how to fill that role.

Now to the stuff I didn’t like.  As a church ministry this conference was not designed for us.  That is not something I am blaming on Crusade, it was primarily for their people and that may simply be what they need.  That said,  the church is the vehicle God has chosen to accomplish His mission and I didn’t get the feeling that Crusade was even attempting to promote the local church as something that is necessary for those students to be involved in.  On the other hand, they may have good reason for that.  The secular college campus is a huge missions field which the local church has primarily ignored.  It may also be possible that the local church has not been compliant in the past and has created an atmosphere that has done harm to any potential relationships.

I think (though I say this without total conviction) Crusade is missing an opportunity to serve the local church by intentionally inviting the local church to be part of this conference.   This could be a great bridge to the local church from a para-church ministry.  This is not to say that Crusade is opposed to the local church.  My guess is that if they were asked about the local church they would be very supportive.  I don’t, however, see any intentionality in making local church connections.  This may be because they don’t know how to make those connections, they are simply focused on campus ministries which are desperately needed, or they just haven’t thought about it.  I might also suggest that this has been the case from the direction of the local church and probably for some of the same kinds of reasons.  This needs to change.

Because I risk the possibility of being part of the problem I just discussed, I am going to make some contacts with connections I have already made at one of the local colleges and begin pursuing this kind of connection with our local colleges.  Keep up the good work Crusade and others like them, campus ministries are desperately needed.  Let’s keep working to promote the kingdom of  God…together.

It is not as if the church has intentionally led anyone astray in what it has taught about Christmas; instead what has happened is the church has simply not taught a lot of the details regarding Christmas and as a result people have drawn certain conclusions by listening to well intentioned Christmas music that was not accurate or watching TV shows and movies that portray the Christmas story in some kind of mythical way.

I’m not being a Grinch although I do have that tendency from time to time.  I am not saying we shouldn’t buy gifts, decorate, trees, or watch our favorite Christmas movie.  I am suggesting that we should know what is done because of tradition and for artistic purposes and what the actual facts are.  That way when someone presents the facts the faith of our students is not shaken.

Every year we do a Christmas game night which includes all kinds of fun Christmasy types of things.  Included in this game night every year is some kind of trivia competition.  Some of the questions are just for fun and some of them reveal the truth about the history and facts surrounding the Christmas story.  Not only does this make the learning fun, but the facts are presented in an innocent non-threatening way.  I have included a power point trivia that we have used in the past as part of our celebration.  Feel free to use it, but be prepared for some argument from the students.  Here is the file:  Christmas Trivia

Here are some sites you might find helpful in finding facts about Christmas:

• http://www.thehistoryofchristmas.com/ch/in_america.htm
• http://www.history.com/topics/christmas/videos#history-of-the-christmas-carol
• http://www.holidays.net/christmas/story.htm