I have been often told that Christians would be viewed in a more positive light if they were for things, not against them.  This has often been said to me by Christians and non-Christians alike.  So here are some things Christians should be for:

• Christians should first and foremost be for loving God.  What it means to love God is a little more complicated, but 1 John 3 suggests that obedience is how we show God love.  This often means accepting God’s commandments as good and true even if we don’t particularly like those commandments.
• Christians should be for loving others.  Of course this is often misunderstood as well.  We like to talk about love being kind, patient, gentle and so on;  perhaps we should consider all of 1 Corinthians 13 when we think about how to describe love.  Love “does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in truth.”  This means if we are to be for loving others we cannot simply accept wrongdoing even if a person claims that wrongdoing is part of who they are.  This leads us to the next thing we should be for:
• Christians should be for the truth.  Being for truth often means exposing that which is untrue…of course that is where Christians are told they should be for more things rather than against them.
• Christians should be for showing compassion, but that does not mean we don’t speak truth.  Instead this just means we speak truth in the most compassionate way possible, we minister to those in need, and do what we can to lift up the oppressed.
• Christians should be for right/holy living.
• Christians should be for marriage between a man and a woman.
• Christians should be for protecting the life of the unborn.
• Christians should be for getting as many people involved in a relationship with Jesus as possible.
• Christians should be for seeing people go to heaven.
• Christians should be for a good work ethic.
• Christians should be for personal responsibility.
• Christians should be for the public expression of faith.

Being for certain things means that you are also against some things, so here are a few things Christians should be against:

• Christians should be against anything that undermines what they are for.
• Christians should be against changing our theology because of life circumstances (though life circumstances are a good reason to reevaluate our theology).  In the end our theology should come from Scripture and be applied to life.
• Christians should be against separating our faith from public life or any area of life.
• Christians should be against evil.
• Christians should be against hell.

When Christians speak against some things it is because of what we are for.

The story I’m about to tell is actually many stories.  Though I will tell it is one story, there have been many like this over the years.  It started out with some parents coming to me to ask for help.  Their student (15) had become disrespectful and defiant.  The parents had done everything they knew how to do and they were stuck, concerned, and at the end of their rope.

Over the years I have sat down with many students and had many conversations after a similar conversation with parents. Though the behavior is often a particular issue (drugs, partying, defiance, etc…) it seems to me the source of the problem is generally (not always) found in one of a couple places. First, it often starts when the kids are young. Perhaps you have heard the saying, “everything I need to know I learned in Kindergarten.” While this is grossly overstated there is a certain sense in which it is true. Many of the patterns in life are determined very early. Those who allow their young children to manipulate and control them by throwing tantrums and being defiant can expect that pattern to continue as the child grows older. Many parents are short sighted in this regard. Instead of teaching their children the proper way to deal with disappointment they simply try to manage the tantrums and defiance. In other words they try to keep it in the realm of what they can put up with. The idea is that these children will outgrow these behaviors. In some ways they are correct. As children develop mentally they acquire new tools of manipulation, more effective ones. In reality it is more of a trade in than anything. Proverbs 23:13-14 warns parents not to withhold discipline from our children. This isn’t only true when they are young, it is true as they grow older and become teenagers. The method of discipline may change, but the principle remains until they leave their parents for full blown adulthood. The more we as parents discipline when our children are young, the less we will have to do it when they grow older.

The second source is culture. The American culture is nor friendly to parenting. Whether it is the entertainment on TV, the education system promoting silly ideas, or the music being pumped into our student heads, it is very often filled with messages that promote the intelligence of kids and the idiocy of adults. I probably haven’t heard it all, but I have heard so many students communicate in some way that they somehow know so much more than adults. I hear things like, “I googled it and…” “my teacher told me…” “I saw ______ on TV and they said….” Honestly it is out of hand and it is our fault. As parents we need to speak prophetically in order to help them filter out what is good and trustworthy and what is not. This starts at a young age and continues into early adulthood. Our students are not being taught a Biblical worldview in their schools, they are not being taught American exceptionalism, and they are not being taught Biblical principles. It is a never ending job to guard ourselves and then our students from these ideological missteps.

For much of my youth ministry career I have tried to be careful regarding the advice that I would give parents about parenting. There are two reasons I am more willing to give advice in this area now than I used to be. The first is experience. I have a daughter headed into junior high, and though she has not yet successfully navigated the teenage years, I more fully understand parenting. Not that I have it all figured out, I don’t and that is why humility is always a key ingredient when dishing out advice of any kind. The second reason is youth ministry itself. That is to say I have been working with teenagers for 18 years. I would say that experience legitimizes any insight I may have into the minds, hearts, and behaviors of teenagers. I think it would be fair to say that I have achieved a certain level of expertise not on parenting necessarily, but on teenagers themselves.

If you are a youth pastor with some experience, you should not be shy about giving general advice on the mind, heart, and behavior of teenagers, but you should be humble and recognize your limits.

If you are a parent, don’t fall into the trap of thinking students know how they should be parented.  Likewise don’t fall into the trap of listening to culture.  God’s word (start with Proverbs) gives all kinds of great advice.

Last Tuesday a new student came to our High School ministry.  He was very early, so we hung out and talked for a long time.  I began our conversation by asking him about his family and after talking about that for a while, we moved on to talking about what he did for fun.  His answer was “watch movies.”  As our conversation continued, it became abundantly clear that he either didn’t have any hobbies, or he didn’t want to tell me about them.  Either way, I realized that this student, like many other teens, had created idols to worship.   It seemed that those idols were not created out of an over active imagination, a desire to be great, or some other ambition, but out of boredom.

I am constantly amazed at the attitude many teens have towards life in general.  There are still those who worship accomplishments, lifestyles, and various other idols, but there seems to be this other group that must create that which they will worship because they are bored.  Perhaps there have always been those who were bored, but the number seems to be growing.  It is not the idea of people being bored that is alarming, but the fact that this boredom has spilled into the spiritual life of the person and even more alarming into the church.

So many youth ministries have focused on entertaining those who are bored and as a result the level of entertainment must constantly increase in order to keep those same students involved.  They aren’t lovers of Jesus, they are lovers of Jesus entertainment.  This isn’t effective ministry, it is crowd gathering.

Boredom isn’t solved through excitement.  The flashiest videos, coolest games, and most amazing outreach events entertain for a moment, but it isn’t long until the boredom sets in again.   What is the cure?  The cure is simple, it is a reason, a motivation, a CAUSE.  Athletes dream of a two minute drive to win the game, those with business sense dream of a day when they are the boss and the company runs smooth, and many of those with musical ability dream of playing for large audiences.  People who have a cause to work for work harder than those who don’t.  It seems obvious, but we often spend more time entertaining than we do providing an opportunity to be part of something bigger, a cause.

Jesus last words before leaving earth were vision words, mission words, and cause words.  Pick your synoptic gospel or the first chapter of Acts, the message is clear Jesus gave us a cause for which we are to live.  Simply put it is to be a witness to the gospel and make disciples.  That’s it!!

Every year we battle to keep students attention on spiritual things while coaches and teachers provide a cause or vision for those same students.  Youth group is relegated to the list of things students do if they have time rather than the thing they won’t miss even if it means they stay up late to finish homework.  The answer is not to get upset with parents, it is to provide a vision of expanding the kingdom of God so that we can rejoice together every time one more person enters the kingdom of heaven!

For more on how to get your students involved in “The Cause” go here or develop your own strategy, either way give them a reason to commit.  Everyone wants something to live for and if students are bored they will worship the latest Xbox or PS3 game, the latest top 40 hit, or whatever sport they wish to be involved with.  Jesus is not boring and being a Christian is anything but boring, we need to give teens Jesus and the cause of Jesus.

Too often in today’s culture happiness is associated with some kind of euphoric feeling, pleasure, or ego boost. Ecclesiastes seems to give the most complete treatment of happiness. Consider these verses:

• Ecclesiastes 2:26

“To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God.”

• Ecclesiastes 3:12-13

“I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. 13 That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God.”

• Ecclesiastes 5:18-20

“Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him—for this is his lot. 19 Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work—this is a gift of God. 20 He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.”

• Ecclesiastes 7:14

“When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other.”

• Ecclesiastes 11:9

“Be happy, young man, while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment.”

There are several things to note regarding Solomon’s treatment of happiness. First, when happiness is positive, it seems to be a gift of God. It is not something we find or achieve as much as it is something given to us by God, a gift that we should appreciate, but not one we should take for granted. Second, true happiness seems to be the result of pleasing God and not ourselves. Storing up wealth does not lead to happiness (this from a man who had Bill Gates kind of wealth). Third, there will be happy times in life as well as times that are not so happy. Both the happy and the unhappy times come from God. Fourth, we will be judged for what we do to make ourselves happy.

In a world where immediate gratification is championed as the ultimate purpose in life we must strive to help students see that a deeper purpose in life, namely a life committed to Jesus, is the only thing that can bring lasting and true happiness. Again consider the words of Solomon:

Something to Think About:

• What happens when you promise that Jesus will make students happy, and hard times come?
• If you use “fun” to attract students, how will you keep them? (I’m not suggesting we don’t use fun, just that we need to think about this)
• When you share the gospel, do you emphasis a life of happiness or purpose?
• As you teach the word of God, how do you help students develop a deeper understanding of what it means to be happy and how do you help them understand that happiness comes from God, not things or experiences?

All quotes from the Bible were taken from the NIV